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A true story · Every Thanksgiving

Uncle Cletis shows up drunk again.

Aunt Mable put too much mayonnaise in the potato salad. Johnny and Linda are whisper-fighting by the punch bowl. Somebody's begging me not to let my brother-in-law pray over the food — his prayers are sermons.

And I'm yelling up the stairs to turn down the karaoke machine. Again.

No matter the chaos, I host again and again — because I love my messy family.
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Gratitude, gravy, and gentle political avoidance.

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From: ᔭ seasonzSample issue · Thanksgiving Edition

Gobble Responsibly 🦃

Subject: Uncle Cletis is already in the driveway. Breathe.

The Lead⏱ 4-min read · 0 calories

If your family is anything like mine, every Thanksgiving is chaotic. Uncle Cletis shows up drunk again. Aunt Mable put too much mayonnaise in the potato salad, the kids are running in and out the house, my sister's flight was delayed, Johnny and Linda are whisper-fighting by the punch bowl again.

Then there is the football game divide in the house that could easily lead to arguments, (as if any of them are being paid). Family members are coming into the kitchen as I'm finalizing dinner to tell me not to let my brother-in-law pray over the food because they are hungry and his prayers are sermons.

And I'm yelling up the stairs to tell the kids to turn down the karaoke machine and then there is the struggle for the teen cousins to participate and get involved because they are constantly on their phones.

"No matter the chaos, I agree to host Thanksgiving again and again because I do love my messy family and it's my favorite time of year."

— Filed from the kitchen, still yelling up the stairs

The whole American calendar. Yes, all of it.

🎆Jan 1

New Year's Day

New year, same snacks, bigger resolutions.

✊🏾3rd Mon, Jan

MLK Jr. Day

A day of service, reflection, and dreaming big.

🦫Feb 2

Groundhog Day

A rodent forecasts the weather. We trust him completely.

🏈Feb

Super Bowl Sunday

Unofficial holiday. Official wing consumption.

💘Feb 14

Valentine's Day

Love is in the air. So is chocolate.

🎩3rd Mon, Feb

Presidents' Day

Honor the presidents by buying a mattress, apparently.

☘️Mar 17

St. Patrick's Day

Wear green or face the pinch. Those are the rules.

🤡Apr 1

April Fools' Day

Trust no one. Especially your coworkers.

🐰Mar/Apr

Easter

A bunny hides eggs. Kids find candy. Nobody asks questions.

🌎Apr 22

Earth Day

Hug a tree. Consensually.

🌮May 5

Cinco de Mayo

Guac is extra. Today it's worth it.

💐2nd Sun, May

Mother's Day

She gave you life. The least you can do is brunch.

🇺🇸Last Mon, May

Memorial Day

Honoring the fallen and unofficially kicking off summer.

👔3rd Sun, Jun

Father's Day

Dad jokes are mandatory. Ties are optional.

✨Jun 19

Juneteenth

Freedom Day — celebrate, learn, and gather.

🎇Jul 4

Independence Day

Fireworks, hot dogs, and freedom. In that order.

🛠️1st Mon, Sep

Labor Day

Celebrate work by not working. Poetic.

🪶2nd Mon, Oct

Indigenous Peoples' / Columbus Day

A day to learn the full story.

🎃Oct 31

Halloween

The one night it's normal to beg strangers for candy.

🎖️Nov 11

Veterans Day

Thank a veteran today — and every day.

🦃4th Thu, Nov

Thanksgiving

Gratitude, gravy, and gentle political avoidance.

🛒Day after Thanksgiving

Black Friday

Elbows out. Wallets open.

🕎Nov/Dec

Hanukkah

Eight nights of light and latkes.

🎄Dec 25

Christmas

The Super Bowl of holidays. We train all year.

🕯️Dec 26

Kwanzaa

Seven principles, seven days of celebration.

🥂Dec 31

New Year's Eve

Countdown, confetti, and questionable resolutions.

The next holiday is coming. Are you ready?

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